It is a random afternoon. I stood in the kitchen, eating some pistachios, staring out of the window, alone, and thinking about the future of human being. I thought this might be one of the best times of my life. The fact that I am worrying the future of the whole mankind make me feel powerful and satisfied.
In fact, I might make the single most important desicion in my entire life in the next few days, whether to go academia or to go industry. I never thought about going academia in the early days of PhD life. I doubted my ability to impact the world if I go academia, while was confident about my ability to live a wealthy life if I go industry. I even think I could be more impactful if I go industry. I am not sure how I got this idea.
I remember in the early days of my PhD life, I am filled up with the ideas of nihilism and subsequent hedonism. That was mainly because my modest knowledge in physics led me to believe the theory of Heat Death of the Universe. Thus, the conclusion was that there is only one thing worth thinking: how to carefully plan the span of my life to obtain the most pleasure, given my current state and condition. But then by a miracle, I no longer believed in Heat Death. I even believe the end of current universe does not necessitate the end of the mankind. Thus, it is meaningful to leave something for the mankind. Besides, I found true pleasure lies on the fulfillment of my curiosity for the universe. Just by learning new knowledge I gain sincere happiness. Games, shows are less and less appealing to me.
Recently I read from a philosophy book a sentence “despite of being mortal, we must make ourself as immortal as we can”, said Aristotle. This sentence really hits me and reminds me that desire deep inside me, to be as immortal as possible, one way or another. Maybe everyone has such desire. It is just many of them forget or give up on this idea.
I felt I am more and more desperately curious about the world. My desire to impact the world and my belief in myself that I can do so also become bigger and bigger. These things drive me leaning to academic road little by little. Einstein published his most famous paper at the age of 25. I have few days left before turning 26. But still, I have a chance, right?